The Power of (Self) Love
The power of (self) Love.
Lady smelling a rose
As February 14th approaches and love is on display everywhere with chocolates and flowers, prosecco and passion; “the day” to shower your beloved with cards and kisses. It’s when focus is on true love, reminding the beings of our affection that they hold a deep and irreplaceable place in our heart.
That’s Valentine’s Day
Around 110 million Valentine’s roses are sold 2-3 days leading up to February 14th, mostly red of course. Out of those 110 million, 73% are purchased by men and only 27% are purchased by women.
Valentine’s day is the second biggest “event” of the calendar year following Christmas. It has been estimated that the UK will spend around £880 million on valentine’s day. Averaging that men will spend a staggering £611 million while women will spend around £269 on their partners!
All in the name of love.
How do you show that one person how much they mean to you? (other than buying them chocolates and roses!)
I would guess these include:
· prioritising them
· listening to their needs and do your best to see they are fulfilled
· investing time and energy, so they feel nurtured, nourished and treasured
· remembering what they care about and showing them you know with your actions
· speaking kindly and lovingly to them
Am I right?
They’re such lovely sentiments and it’s one day where many do actually focus on their beloved.
But there is a special someone that many, maybe most, forget in this life.
That life altering person, is that person the mirror.
It’s You.
Your one true love is…. You.
The month of February tends to be one about love.
But I’m referring to Self love. And how prioritising it – You – can and will change your world.
Self-love is the most life-altering love you will know.
love heart
I hear over and over how stressed, stretched, tired, no actually the word is often exhausted, or shattered, so many are.
So much time is given to taking care of responsibilities and juggling all of the various roles many don’t even make it onto their list of things needing attention. In my experience, women are particularly bad at this but more and more both women and men are running themselves into the ground fulfilling expectations, keeping up appearances, and more recently quite simply making end meet.
Today I’d like to encourage you to consider how you feel.
Really.
What words come to mind?
On top of the stressed, stretched and tired I hear overwhelmed, worried, overweight, wrinkly and more and more, lonely.
My heart breaks.
Do you know that it is estimated that the global personal care, beauty and anti-aging industry is projected to be worth USD 1.15 trillion by 2034, according to Precedence Research, growing at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 6.76% from 2025.
The Healthy Eating, Nutrition & Weight Loss industry is a major global market with significant growth and economic impact.
In 2024, the global weight loss and weight management diet market was valued at USD 190.35 billion, according to Expert Market Research, and is projected to grow at a CAGR of 8.30%, reaching USD 422.51 billion by 2034
So in a world that is more connected than ever before, people are more focussed on looks and the pursuit of the “perfect and pretty” life per what is displayed in the media. We’re told who to be, what to think, what’s right and what is acceptable; what ‘perfect’ is and that we all need to aspire to it. Each day I am witness to the devastating affects on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
And that is without including those who are chronically unwell and would just.like.to.feel.better.again.
In a world that feeds and then profits from your insecurities – let us change things from today!
This February – and every month thereafter – I encourage you to be a rebel and find ways to love, honour and cherish yourself!
Let today be the starting point to taking kind, mindful and loving care of you.
I invite you to make the whole month of February Self-Valentine’s Month!
Acre Of Roses, Mr Lincoln rose
Here’s Why
Health and happiness is not merely about eating optimally and exercising regularly. It is dependent on creating connections of the heart, feeding your soul, nurturing the spirit, finding real joy. It’s about fulfilling ambitions. And being gentle with ourselves. Where we continually ignore our own needs, our spirits shrink. Our soul loses its energy. When we ignore ourselves, sadness creeps in. We get sick. “I don’t matter” shows up in various ways. Sadness and trauma settle into our nervous system and sets a tone of ‘I’m not safe’.
The saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup” is something to hold close. You cannot give and give and give and do nothing to nourish and nurture yourself. It’s a recipe for ill-health.
Sadly, self-care is looked upon as indulgent and almost selfish in our world. Tsk. Tsk.
It’s time you ditch that paradigm.
You know how you feel when you spend time doing something you absolutely love. Whether that’s knitting, running, sewing, baking, going to the movies with a friend or fuelling your passion with research/study. Whatever it is that lights you up and makes time stand still… That thing where, at the end, you feel lighter and brighter, more optimistic and well, just, happier.
Your nervous system is recalibrated and calm returns to your core.
You smile more easily and things, even for only a short while, feel more ‘right’ than they were.
THAT is self-love.
And you need to bring it back into your world.
Self-love is a life changer. It’s the thing that will liberate you from any baggage dragging around behind you. It will release you from negative patterns. It will elevate your goals and aspirations so that you light up again. It will put that sparkle back into your eyes and show you that dancing in the rain is the only way!
So, let’s look at self-love for novices! 😉
What is the most basic step you can take to get back your glow?"
Start simple.
1/ EVERY SINGLE DAY, DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOUR HEART SING - MARCIA WIEDER
Sounds simple. And it can be.
Doing things that make you happy is the highest form of self-care.
So start by grabbing a pen and paper and think about those things you love to do. Remember what you once did that made you laugh and smile, filled your soul with sunshine and write them all down. Some may no longer be possible, so find alternatives. Some will be possible so find a way to go back to them. Include then in your world again.
Prioritise things that YOU love.
This is about YOU! The real you.
I ask, What. Do. You. Love?
I love starting my day before the household is awake, pouring a cup of freshly brewed chai and sipping it in the calm of sunrise. It’s so quiet. Summer or winter, both offer their own beauty. No matter what month, I find 15 minutes just for me. I get to clear my mind and breathe before the ‘busy’ sets in.
I can be that simple.
Honouring you is about reconnecting with those things that make you exhale fully and see the joy in the world. It’s calming, nurturing and rejuvenating.
What makes your heart sing? What’s missing? Now is the right time to bring it back into your world.
2/ FIND THE FUN
Remember the young child who, rather than grumbling about the rain like their adult, stomps through puddles in wellies, having a truly wonderful time, laughing with pure delight.
Life tends to be a pretty serious thing, making it even more important that you give time to throw off the worries and embrace simple pleasures. In finding the fun in your world, you can break the cycle of “the daily grind” that chips away at energy and blocks out the sunlight.
You must leave a space for the light to get in
A cup of tea and roses in the morning light
Finding the fun is about remembering simple pleasures. If you are presented with opportunities to pause and laugh or stay serious and consider the consequences, choose the former.
This ‘find the fun’ is about letting go a little and finding ways to not take life - and every little detail in it – quite so seriously.
If life is to be joyous there must be opportunities for your soul to shine.
If laughter is the music of our soul, ‘fun’ is the stuff of life!
It’s time to pause and re-visit - remember - activities you love. Having fun is a great way to renew and recharge your spirit. And remind you of the good in your world. Vitamin F must be taken daily. It will elevate your mood, lighten your load, re-energise your spirit, recharge your soul. It is the epitome of self-care.
3/ Get Connected
In this always-on age of always connected and of hundreds of online “friends”, never before has society been so disconnected and individuals so isolated. And it’s a danger to our health.
In a study by Cigna Health Care, Douglas Nemecek, MD, Cigna’s chief medical officer for behavioural health, said the findings of the study suggest that the problem (loneliness) has reached “epidemic” proportions, rivalling the risks posed by tobacco and the nation’s ever-expanding waistline. “Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity.”
Loneliness does not depend on how many friends or relationships you have. Loneliness depends entirely on the subjective quality of your relationships—on whether you feel emotionally and/or socially disconnected from those around you.
As a health and confidence coach you might be surprised how often I suggest “book coffee dates” as a way of supporting my clients to reclaim health, confidence and happiness.
Like never before it is imperative that time is given for healthy, strong social connections.
We are social beings – in the sense that we have evolved from within a network of people and connections, building strong emotional bonds and sharing and caring for one another.
Making the time to be “with” a person, is now of vital importance or, in my opinion, we lose some very basic skills including creating lasting and meaningful connections, communication skills and we risk ignoring core needs that are fulfilled when we spend time with our tribe.
So, who do you love but haven’t spoke - or spent time with - in too long? The person or people that, when you walk away from, feel happier and more balanced. A simple 'suppa with a friend. A shared meal. The group with whome time spent means a chance to recharge your soul with the energy of connections of the heart?
This day, this month and this year make a promise to reconnect with people you love but don’t see often enough. Your year will be so much better for it. YOU will be so much happier and healthier for it.
A lady enjoying a cup of tea
Prioritising Self-Care
Be your own best friend.
Make time and commit to including it to recharge your batteries and nourish your soul. Put it in your diary. It really is that simple.
You matter.
Your wellbeing matters
I challenge you to shush that repetitive ‘no time’ patter and see that even at full-stretch you’d find time for a friend in need.
That friend is now you.
Make. Time. For. You.
When we take the time to renew and replenish ourselves, our capacity to give, grows.
Making time each day, or at minimum each week, for yourself and your own needs is not selfish. It actually allows you to show up as the very best version of yourself. It’s vital, fundamental, to ensure you are the very best you can be.
Anything less robs all those around you of the most magnificent version of you.
You deserve to be the best version of you
Make you a priority today
Happy February
Happy Self-Valentine’s Day
Transform Your Life For Real!
I provide stressed, (often silently) sick and stuck men and women with the knowledge and tools to recalibrate and create clarity, calm confidence and control, a body they adore and the energy to embrace and chase their dreams. With Spinal Flow your body moves out of fight/flight into healing mode. And with coaching you have the know-how to tools to honour you and your individual needs.
When you work with me, you will have the know-how to transform a life of “fine” so you Live, Look and Feel Fabulous.
If you would like to book a chat, please email me directly or leave a message here https://www.simonegilbert.com/contact
